Riding the struggle bus? Read this.
We all fall upon tough times. We all have days where nothing goes right. I am blessed to have cultivated a life where I have mostly good days, but this past week in particular was TOUGH.
It was supposed to be a magical week of love and adventure and it fell way short of my expectations. Everything went wrong from travel drama to less than spectacular hotel stays during my anniversary weekend trip. I’m still sporting an awful sunburn and we got hit by a hurricane and lost power for 12 hours. I had creative problems and set backs and didn’t feel well when I wanted to feel great and it has been very difficult to manage my emotions and my mindset this week.
I know I’m not alone. I know you’ve felt overwhelmed by everything life has thrown at you at one time or another. It feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders and your trying to hold it with a broken back. Feelings of helplessness or hopelessness take root. Becoming overwhelmed can happen in an instant, and getting through can seem impossible. It is okay to not be okay. It is okay for things to not feel good. It is okay if you aren't quite ready.
When you are, take a breath. Remember, one thing at a time, one day at a time. Your success rate for survival thus far is 100%. You've got this.
Next, decipher if what you are going through is a "me" problem or a "them" problem.
"Me" problems are, as they sound, mine. It can be helpful to ask yourself questions like these: Was I triggered? Did I react instead of respond? What is my role in this? Where are these feelings rooted? Is there a threat? Is/Was my behavior appropriate and in alignment with who I choose to be? What can I control?
Sometimes the answer is nothing. That is your first clue that what you've got is a "them" problem. "Them" problems are those happening outside of you, where you are just along for the emotional ride. Through no fault or contribution of your own in any way, you find yourself in a less than desirable place = "them" problem. A simple example of this is when your spouse comes home from a tough day at work with a less than personable attitude. "Them" problem. You did not cause the issue. You did not contribute to the issue and you likely cannot fix the issue either. You are just there for support, or sometimes as a dumping ground if healthy boundaries are not in place.
Now let's be reminded that not all problems require fixing and problem solving and solving problems are not the same.
Problem solving is a decision making process. It involves asking questions and finding ways to answer them, then asking more analytical questions to find further solutions. Solving problems, on the other hand, requires a decision to be made. It's one step further than the thought process, requiring action to be taken. This is where some of us get stuck on the struggle bus and ride that baby 'till the wheels fall off.
So what kind of problem do you actually have?
What can you do about it?
Whatever it is, start with one thing. One step. One moment. One conversation. One idea. One plan. One moment of accountability. One moment of discipline.
Ask yourself, what do I need right now?
Then give it to yourself with grace From there we can figure out the next thing to do.
With intentional thinking, we can conquer anything with an outcome that is most favorable to us! Our minds will fuel fears and doubts and worries if left unchecked but reeling in our thoughts and controlling what we can is a huge help in getting us grounded again and back on track to feeling good.
Raising our vibration when you are feeling down can help us re-calibrate and recharge, readying us for the tasks ahead. Here are my quick tips for raising your vibe fast:
Save this and refer to it the next time you are in a funk. Better yet, Pin it for later (wink, wink). Hindsight is always 20/20, right? So once the fog has cleared it is important to evaluate what went well, what didn't and what we could have done differently. This kind of accountability is an important step to be sure history doesn't repeat itself. I have been told that we keep repeating lessons until we learn from them, so that's what we had better do.
Sending you tons of love and a high vibe high five!