I remember the first time I stood up in front of a room full of people and gave a presentation. I thought I was going to puke. My hands were clammy and I was shaking. My heart was pumping out of my chest. To be honest, I still kinda get this way before I go LIVE on Facebook. I definitely get that way in front of a crowd. I’ve just learned to control my fear instead of letting my fears control me. I ask myself things like- What’s the worst thing that could happen? I’ll bomb this event, no one will want to talk to me, my social media won’t grow, my business won’t grow and I’ll be back where I’ve started...
Whelp...We’ve been here before.
The flip side is- if I don’t deliver the talk, give the presentation, show up for myself and my clients, then my social media and business definitely won’t grow and I’ll be right where I started.
See how the easy way and the hard way both have the potential to end up in the same place, but only one has the potential to propel me forward?? That’s learning to live through your fear.
Fear is certainly not limited to extreme situations, like public speaking or bungee jumping off of tall buildings for that matter. There are many ways in which fear subtly influences our lives and can keep us paralyzed if we aren’t mindful of its presence.
Fear is the thing that keeps most of us from doing and having everything we want. It keeps us playing small and safe and comfortable. When nothing changes, nothing changes.
Fear is an interesting emotion. It bypasses the usual emotional processing centers in our brains, acting quickly and influencing us subconsciously. Fear can impair our decision-making skills, and even shape our impressions and opinions, if left unchecked.
According to Buddhism, there are two kinds of fear: healthy fear and unhealthy fear. We know to look both ways before crossing the street. We know not to touch a hot stove. We have a healthy fear of the outcomes if we do.
The other kind of fear, unhealthy fear, is rooted in delusion. It sounds a little harsh. No one likes being called “delusional.” But unhealthy fears are rooted in the most extreme and uncontrollable. When we’re controlled by delusional fear, we try to craft our lives so that we might avoid these outcomes. We also rob ourselves of growth and the possibility of success.
Being stifled by fear is living from a place of negativity, avoidance, and a narrowed vision. Simply put, we lose what makes us feel alive. So let’s talk about it. What makes you feel alive? Let us become more mindful of all the ways in which fear controls us, choosing which fears we want to keep, and which ones we want to discard, making way for our happiest life.
It can be that simple.
Who has ever had a freak out session about a conversation you know you needed to have and then in the end, it wasn’t nearly as bad as you thought? Maybe it even went well?!
What if you go LIVE on Facebook and no one watches? Then you've practiced for yourself!
What if i change jobs and it doesn't work out? Then we'll find another! Or finally open the business we've always thought about...
You get the idea...
These are the stories we can work with and shape so we’re not always avoiding situations we think will be horrible. Life is about taking chances, challenging our preconceived notions, and fear is a great emotion to work with when stepping outside our boundaries, which is a necessary component to growth.
Growth without expansion is impossible. Expansion requires us to stretch ourselves. Stretching ourselves can get uncomfortable. Getting uncomfortable means doing before we know how. Doing means mistakes but mistakes mean lessons and lessons mean growth and in the end, it will all be worth the effort.
You have my word.
If you would like extra support around overcoming your fears, I invite you to join my free Facebook community, Get It Together, Girl or feel free to reach out about private coaching.
P.S. If fear of going live on Facebook if a fear that you experience, I invite you to check out my quick guide. You can find it here.
And here's a pic of me fearless and having fun!
I hope that I've inspired you to live full out today, full of joy and free of worry.
Worry is a useless emotion anyway...