Is Your Money Story Sabotaging Your Success?
Whether we are aware of it or not, we all have a money story. We may even have multiple money stories. These stories probably formed long ago as a result of things we saw, heard and experienced as children. I am going to share some of my former money stories and I encourage you to use them to uncover your own that may be shaping the way you take financial action and may be sabotaging your current and future success.
Let's take it from the top.
Money is an amoral form of currency. It is a tool we use in trade to exchange for our needs, wants and conveniences. It has no meaning other than the meaning we assign it, often based solely on how we FEEL about it. All that said, it is safe to have money. It is more than okay to desire money. Having money doesn't make you a bad person or a good person. How you use your money may. I encourage you to drop your money stigmas like the bad habits they are today and get ready to write a new money story, especially if you are craving abundance!
Growing up, I can remember there being tension between my parents over money. One memory that stands out is of my father lacing up his boots one Christmas morning getting ready to head to work. When I asked why he had to go, his response was double time and a half. As a child I didn't understand. He chose to leave his family on Christmas day to go make money.
The lesson I took from that experience was that money equaled working hard. Money equaled success. It must, because why else would anyone leave their family on Christmas day, their day off, and go work?
I remember going grocery shopping and Mom had to put back the Entenmann's cake at checkout because she didn't have enough money to pay everything. The lesson: there may not be enough.
While my parents helped my oldest sister pay for college, by the time it was my turn, I was on my own. The lesson: poor planning leads to no financial opportunities. Debt is normal.
These experiences, though not especially traumatic or difficult, shaped my views and feels about money as an adult.
I almost always worked two jobs because money comes to those who work hard.
I hoarded cash and became exceptionally frugal because there may not be enough.
I took on quite a bit of debt because debt was normal if you wanted or *needed* things you couldn't afford at the moment.
I developed a pretty poor money story which basically boiled down, in my mind, to this:
Money Equals Success.
That belief system served me, unchecked and unchallenged for years.
When I lost my office job that paid our bills, and I was no longer making the money that previously defined my success, I felt like I had lost it all. I lost my job but worse, I lost my worth, because my worth was so closely tied to my earnings.
You are more than your paycheck.
You are more than your current earnings.
You are more than the number in your bank account.
It was at that moment I realized my story needed to be rewritten.
That's the beauty of the evolution we all get to embark on; at any moment we get to change our minds, decide, rewrite the story that we've been held captive by for so long. It may not be easy, but it is that simple.
I began to look at my relationship with money and I thought about all the stories like the ones I shared with you that shaped my beliefs around it.
I began doing my own inner work to uncover my fears around money, feelings that I wasn't worthy of having it, worries that I couldn't keep it, what if it changed me?
I approached each one head on, journaled out my every thought and made peace with the things I have done and felt as a result. Self love and self acceptance is almost always step one in any healing process.
We develop these belief systems (often unconsciously) and unless we challenge them, unless we look at whether or not they are truly serving us in our lives and question whether they are even true, we live in the prisons we have created using our beliefs as cornerstones of who we are and who we are being.
Consider for a moment that the very thing we call our personalities are actually just a composite of the habits and behavioral patterns we have developed to cope with our past experiences and traumas.
Did I just blow your mind? :)
When I rewired my thoughts and feelings around my money, when I tended to our relationship in a positive way, I was able to shift out of the scarcity mindset I had grown up in and adopted and into a mindset of pure abundance. I stopped blocking my own success. I got out of my own way and became a good receiver of good things.
If I handed you a gift right now, would you be grateful to receive it? Imagine the way receiving it would make you feel.
Do you feel that same gratitude when your favorite ice cream is on sale at the grocery store?
In both cases, you received an unexpected gift. One gift may be of more value than the other but why should that impact our desire to celebrate receiving them?
Abundance is all around us all the time. You may be consciously or unconsciously open to receiving it or you may consciously or unconsciously repel it from your world and it's all done through your thoughts, feelings and actions.
One practice I believe really helps realign perspective and boost my vibration is to recite affirmations. Affirmations can be used around any topic, and when we recite them regularly, we can start to rewire the instinctive thoughts our brain conjures up around certain topics. Here are some money affirmations for abundance to get you started:
Try these on for size and see how they feel for you. Affirmations can be tough in the beginning, almost feeling like lies you are telling yourself, but when you find ones you resonate with and commit to them regularly, you can turbo boost your rewiring process.
Anyone brave enough to share their money stories in the comments?
I would love to see how many of us share similar experiences.